Sources of our Becoming
Letters on breastfeeding

Our thoughts are not born in isolation. They are shaped by the stories we hear, the norms we inherit, and the silences we are taught to accept. In the realm of infant feeding, few topics are as emotionally charged and socially complex as breastfeeding. The way we think about it — as natural, as optional, as burdensome, as empowering — is deeply influenced by cultural narratives, medical discourse, marketing strategies, and generational beliefs. Breastfeeding activism challenges us to examine these sources critically. It asks: Who benefits from the way we think about breastfeeding? Whose voices are amplified, and whose are dismissed? By tracing the origins of our thoughts, we begin to reclaim them — and in doing so, we create space for informed, compassionate, and justice-driven conversations about infant nourishment and maternal autonomy. 


These letters are written by An Eerdekens, neonatologist and IBCLC lactation consultant, Melanie Miller, IBCLC lactation consultant, and Inge van Nistelrooij, care ethicist. They are an invitation to the reader: to walk alongside us, to discuss, to reflect, and to deepen. It is a call to plant seeds — seeds that highlight the significance of this ingenious piece of biology within our society. Breastfeeding is not merely about feeding a child; it is about the emergence of relationality, a defining trait of our humanity. It touches upon ecology, philosophy, women’s rights, and human rights. Through this exploration, we hope to shed light on its broader meaning and impact.

We wish the reader an enriching journey through these reflections, and we look forward to your response.



Email: gloedacademy@gmail.com

20th of May, 2025
Letter by Inge


How it all started

Dear An and Mel,

How thrilling to pick up my teenage hobby of writing letters! And to do that with two wonderful women inspired by the same practice: breastfeeding. 

This is how it all started. When I sent an email to you in December 2024, I had never met you, An. We were introduced by our mutual acquaintance Joke Struyf, researcher in queer parenting at Antwerp University. Through Joke I learned that you are successfully setting up milk banks in Belgium, that you are a neonatologist and the only Belgian neonatologist with the qualification ‘lactation expert’. I also learned that ...

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28th of May, 2025 
Letter by An


A few intense weeks with many impressions


Dear Inge and Mel,

I’ve had a few intense weeks filled with many impressions. Experiences that are, in some way, interconnected and have sparked a number of thoughts. What follows is both a synthesis and a brainstorm. Perhaps it can set us on a path toward further collaboration through a holistic approach.

It started with a trip to Brussels, together with my sister and my youngest son, on a sunny Saturday afternoon two weeks ago. We visited the first major retrospective of Berlinde De Bruyckere at Bozar. I’m not sure if you’re familiar with her work? She creates incredibly lifelike sculptures using wax, often depicting body parts—but never the face. Her work is considered controversial, as it encompasses beauty, rawness, and vulnerability. It is both raw and pure. 

(https://www.bozar.be/nl/kalender/berlinde-de-bruyckere-khoros)

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20th of June, 2025 
Letter by Mel


Sharing new stories, finding new language


Dear An,

It’s with both true pleasure and deep gratitude that I read and re-read your letter, beginning in my head a response, a continued conversation with you, and with Inge, imagining this correspondence the three of us have begun in the spirit of the invitation you’ve gifted us; that as you write, we may consider this shared concern together, “with passion and a broad outlook.” I want to say to you both that this invitation of shared curiosity, the space for connection and wonder that we envision: it appears to me also now as an antidote to the interior dialogue entangling me for some time now.

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29th of July, 2025 
Letter by Inge


Sources of our Becoming

Dear Mel and An,

Thank you for your rich letters, which touch upon so many topics and sources that are most relevant for the lives of young parents, and for all of us. Your letters are also telling, for when we look at the world through the lens of breastfeeding we learn to see in what kind of world we live and bring our children up in. As you point out, An, breastfeeding leads us to the complexity of sexualization as well as shame. This conflictual complexity stands in sharp contrast to the many human qualities that are connected to breastfeeding – skin-contact, survival, socialization, the hormonally regulated openness and alertness to the environment – all of which shape essential relationality. We would... 

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29th of October, 2025
Letter by Mel





An experience of wonder


Dear Inge and An,

As a way to respond to Inge’s last letter and attempt to organize the thoughts and feelings it brought forth in me, I want to share a moment of joy with you from earlier today.

Midmorning, I was walking to a yoga class – something relatively new for me, both the walking to and the class itself: an hour of yin yoga, the slow, intentional, passive style of movement that I have come to love and value deeply. In my life before Edinburgh, I drove a car everywhere. Bodily movement was pre-sunrise, vigorous exercise. The pace of my life was such that I would have called the moment I experienced earlier silly, strange, or frivolous; joyful would have seemed odd, even naive.

What happened was...


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23rd of December 2025 
Letter by Inge


Entangled and Ambivalent


Dear An and Mel,

Thank you so much, Mel, for sharing your moment of joy at discovering the food recycle bin in your neighbourhood! And for sharing all the other thoughts that that moment evoked on previous moments of joy. You as well as An have experienced those first moments with a newborn that you so wonderfully describe: a baby’s tiny, exquisite cues that require listening and attention. Those cues, and comparable ones, that we are not always used to attending to in adult life. The purposeful and powerful, instinctual human movements of a newborn: an arm extended, a head turn, a fist to the mouth. The enactment of a relationship with their parent’s body that forms a display of wonder like nothing else. And the unique kind of joy that you receive from witnessing all this.


It seems like it takes something special to look at the ordinary. To me, you show that special ability in your letter, Mel. This is also what my favourite authors and artists do. They look at the ordinary and they see things I and others are not always paying attention to. Their look seems more attentive, more focused, or perhaps: more receptive? 

Personally, I remember when our children were much younger, that I tried to focus on the beautiful moments that were given to me daily, hourly. And, honestly, also on the moments that were hard. I wanted to keep them in mind, to hold them at heart too. I wanted to witness instead of pass by. My husband and I agreed that ...

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Sources of our Thoughts - Letters on the Golden Hour